In June, I attended (and presented at) the 2022 Conference for Heterodox Academy, which was was cleverly subtitled with the phrase “Great Minds Don’t Think Alike.” Indeed, they don’t, but unsurprisingly, most of the great minds at this conference (and there were 500 attendees) seemed to think mostly in the same direction when it comes to some of the hot-button issues like cancel culture, safe spaces, self-censorship, anti-racism, etc. This is to be expected. The main goal of HxA is to fight for more diversity of viewpoint within the Academy, and the theme of this year’s conference was “Renewing Spaces of Knowledge and Trust,” which was intended to foster productive discussion about “the crisis of trust facing our public institutions and to deepen our shared pursuit of knowledge.” It was an academic-minded conference, and people there seemed to me to be curious, willing to challenge the status quo, and almost always up for a good debate. As I sat listening to talk after talk, I began to wonder about that old adage about wanting to change the world and starting with the willingness to change one’s self.
My presentation was during the second morning session of the last day of the conference, so I had ample opportunity to sit back and listen to many other people, both in and out of sessions. With six concurrent presentations in my time slot, some with very academic titles, I began to wonder who would attend mine, which I simply titled, “CHECK Yourself: How to be Curious and Less Judgmental.” The answer was—a lot of people. I was pleased—there’s nothing particularly cerebral or academic about my talk, but I believe it’s important nonetheless. In short, my talk makes the case that when it comes to viewpoint diversity, the onus is on us to make an attempt to understand other people with whom we disagree. If the general principle doesn’t seem objectionable (if it does—more on that later), the next logical question might be, “how?” And my presentation teaches a method of introspective questioning that leads from self-awareness to an awareness of others that allows us to be curious (and not judgmental). The title is inspired by Ted Lasso—a show that combines all my favorite things: positive psychology, a generous view of other people, and soccer. The real focus of my talk is on intellectual humility, which is at the core of viewpoint diversity, and what practicing it actually looks like on a working level.
For one hour I spoke, and I was lucky to be able to skip the slides that were a bit more technical or nuanced since most people there were familiar with terminology often used when discussing viewpoint diversity. I found myself rushing through the end and was happy to see so many people deeply engaged. At the end I was only able to take a few of the many questions people had for me. But the one I expected didn’t come immediately after the session—it came very late that evening via an email. It was a long, thoughtful email that wowed me with the first official feedback I received, with its author explaining how my session was chosen: “I thought this might be an opportunity to work on myself. It ended up being one of my favorites of the whole conference.” The author went on to explain in-depth a personal issue that brought up a question I get so often that I am no longer surprised by it. In fact, I get it so often that I thought I should write this blog about it. The question, as the author put it, is:
If you're a minority constantly being punched down by the majority - if you don't have an escape option - how do you avoid letting the...bitterness envelope you? Is it really a choice to walk with anger if that's been your constant experience?
In the weeks since this question was posed to me—and again, it’s a question that I get versions of often—there are only more things to be really angry about. In the weeks between, my friends and my feeds are boiling over from the reversal of Roe and the mass shooting on Independence Day. As I always say at the beginning of my presentation, there are many excellent reasons to be angry, some are deeply personal, and certainly it’s natural to feel this way. Anger can be helpful if it leads to something constructive. But in and of itself, anger is harmful and destructive both to our individual and collective well-being. Whether or not the reason for a person’s anger is justifiable (and most people feel very justified, to the point of being self-righteous), the basic question— “is it really a choice to walk with anger?”—elicits a straightforward response from me: Yes.
Being angry is an emotional response. It is not a choice to feel angry and it is often justified. However, walking around with that anger, day after day, is a choice, and though that too may be justifiable, it is generally more harmful than helpful—to us, to the people and causes we care about, and to our communities at large. The simple truth is that there are better options. The complicated truth is that these options take tremendous amount of work and willpower. One may not be able to escape being a minority, being treated unfairly, or feeling constantly like the punches keep coming, but one can escape the vicious cycle of forever being the victim. The way we are treated by others does not define who we are; the trick is to make decisions that will move us forward. It has little to do with changing anyone else’s mind and everything to do with changing our own.
This article is going to make some people angry. Some of my friends will ask me to own my privilege and to stop asking them to change. They’ll say they should be damn angry, and it’s not their job to fix the problem, and until it’s fixed they’re going to be angry, because the system is the problem, or some other group or person is the problem. I get it. And I’m not telling them to change—I’m asking them to consider how letting go of anger, instead of walking around with it, might help them. How it might actually be better for them and for the things they believe in. This article isn’t about solving social issues; it’s about helping individuals who want to find more productive and healthy ways to interact meaningfully with others in an increasingly complex world. It is, in fact, about being curious and not judgmental—and that includes being curious about our own reactions and how we might better respond.
While this opinion I’m offering isn’t easy or breezy, I think it is honest and empowering. There are many angry people walking around out there. Too many for anyone’s good. Maybe you’re one of them. Ask yourself how your anger has helped you or the people and things you care about. Some people thrive on negativity and have built up a whole world that revolves around toxicity. It’s certainly true that many people choose to walk around angry and have no intention of choosing differently. There’s not much to be done about that—leave the comment sections of the internet to them. But if you’re tired of being angry, yet you don’t want to give up the fight for what you believe is right, ask yourself how letting go of anger might help push you in the right direction. Because the thing is—as long as you have your faculties, you have your escape route. And for your own well-being, I hope you use it.